NRI Maami

All husbands, good or bad have their moments of thinking “Gosh! This woman is just too much!”. Most times, its because Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. I decided to make a ‘pattiyal’ or ‘list’ of things most men do not like about their wives.

1. Incessant shopping: Husbands fret when their wives drag them to Kohls or JCPenney to buy clothes. They fume even further when their wives cannot make up their minds on whether the white sweater is better or the cream one is. Their blood boils when having decided between white or cream, their wives proceed to find matching jewellery, shoes or handbags.
2. Domestication: Many husbands wish they could enjoy their weekend lazing on the couch, browsing the internet, reading moonavdhu manusha ezhuthara blogs, watching movies on HBO maathi Starz maathi Cinemax. Naturally it is extremely frustrating when the wife expects him to help with laundry, dispose the trash, occassionally cook or do the weekly grocery shopping - things which can very well be done by the wife who afterall has no interest in doing any of things in line 1 to start with.
3. Perfectionism/Spic and Spannism:  Husbands who have perfectionist wives are rarely close to perfection, as is usually the case in well-matched couples. Husbands scowl when asked to put their shoes in order when they get back from work, grumble under their breath when asked to take their clothes off the floor and put it into the laundry basket, make a silent protest when they are ordered not to spill the deepavali bakshanam on the carpet and valiantly disobey when they are asked to put down the toiled seat. (pss.. I even know one husband who is not allowed to use the toilet downstairs as that is reserved exclusively for guests and should be kept spic and span at all times).
4. Nagging: Husbands do not like to be told more than once what they need to do or should have done. It is of course totally irrelevant that they do not usually do what they are told the first time, or that they can never think of doing stuff unless they are told to. I have yet to master the art of conveying a to-do list to my husband without being called a nag. 
5. Crying: The most powerful tool available to the wife - Crying, is the husband’s worst enemy. As much as he gets amazed by the copious amounts of salt water that his wife’s eyes can produce within a few minutes for reasons well beyond his limits of comprehension, it also drives him crazy that something as trivial as that can force him to relinquish his position in any argument and go scurrying for kleenex.

Of course, as much as one may have all of the above complaints or more, a husband can most certainly not get away with calling his wife a ‘b***h’. However, there is one man who proudly can claim that at the top of his voice. He is this guy.

This list is sure to grow. Husbands, feel free to rant, but beware there will soon be a post that supports my kind!

Two posts ago, I ranted about how much I missed Deepavali in India. To somewhat offset my self-pity and bitterness at being away in ‘America Naadu’, I decided I would take extra effort to make Deepavali enjoyable. So, I took it upon myself to make available 3 sweets and 3 kaarams - that would definitely bring home the Deepavali spirit. With the help of my experienced MIL who made Thenkuzhal, Ribbon Pakoda and the ‘Veetuku - Veedu’ popular 7-cake, and Badushah bought from a Bangalore Iyengar Samayal Kaarar at $1 a piece, I reached my goal by myself making Manankombu a.k.a Mul Murukku and a fancy sweet called Lavanga Lathika (the name of which many people had a hard time remembering). So, by Deepavali day, we had plenty to eat in the area of Bakshanams.

On the morning of Deepavali, all of us had new clothes, Deepavali marundhu. We videotaped the ‘Ennai Sasthram’ of my daughter who was quite amused by the whole process.

My office is well represented by the TamBrahm clan. We stand at a dignified 100% of the total office population. So, all of us decided there was no harm whatsoever, and that in fact it made absolute sense to have a ‘bada khana’ of good pandigai sapadu. The women folk in the office decided we could skip our business casuals and show up in salwars. We planned a very satisfying menu which started with bisi bela bath and ended with theratti paal for sweet. I don’t want to earn the ‘vaitheruchal’ of those who had a busy Deepavali at work by describing the menu in detail. I think it will suffice if I say, all of us had a hard time keeping our eyes open for the rest of the day.

I also learnt from a friend, that fire-crackers are available around July 4. Next year, I plan to stock up in July, so I have nothing to yearn for but the company of my family in India. Next Deepavali will be even better.

My maternal grandmother for many years now has impressed many with her literary skills. Few people have grandmothers above 80 who can talk English, forget about flawless English, written in the form of poetry. She has written in the past more than probably a 100 poems on pieces of paper now turned yellow with age and often tucked away from the public eye within notebooks and diaries.
The most recent one, is about the Senior Citizens Club, of which she is a member. The club, based in Malleswaram, Bangalore is called “The Nightingale Club”. I read the poem and felt it was worthy of publicity because it is a well written poem, written by a person who deserves some appreciation for writing it at her age and also because the Nightingale club does a great job of making so many senior citizens feel special.

So here goes:

 The Spirit of Nightingale

By

Jaya Sundararajan

Singing merry nightingales are we,

Always like this we will all be;

Young we are, in our minds,

Our thoughts, our desires, that binds;

Our ages, all above sixty

Limit though, is five and fifty;

Active we are, forgetting our age,

How old we are none can gauge;

Some of us are heard, not seen;

Talkative souls, we’ve always been;

When others talk, some enjoy,

Smiling of course, expressing joy;

Counting beads, sitting in corners,

Now, want to be roamers;

Dull days, for the aged, ahead,

Are for the books, to be read;

Lack we not in social work,

Spending for a cause, we’ll not shirk;

Slums and old age homes, we visit,

Spreading happiness, we never desist;
 

Reviews, comments and criticism will be duly passed on.

This is the week, where officially, all desis who have in the past enjoyed normal Diwalis, realize it is no more a part of their lives, and replace it with memories of diwali in India, of well consumed mixtures, murukkus, mysore paks and badhushahs, and then go down the oft-trodden train of thoughts of.. ‘What am I doing here? I should go back to India… Cant save money, need to do all the work myself etc… ‘. On the day of diwali, we all call our parents, parents-in-law, grandparents, uncles, aunts etc.. wish them a happy diwali, and make sure that they indeed did have a ‘ganga-snanam’, indeed started with  firing the 100-wala, indeed wore the new clothes, and indeed call each other locally. Another every diwali phenomenon, is that, ‘Background lae pattaasu satham kaekardhaa??’, which usually one might faintly hear, and enthusiastically say ‘yes-yes kaekardhu’ as if it was melodious music that they have been waiting to hear their whole life. Once done with this, what we normally do is wear our usual business casuals, pack our sambar sadhams, pick up our laptops and head to work.

This week, because of my exposure to Sun TV and the gazzilion ads airing these days the above feelings were multiplied by 1000. Apparently in India, Diwali season has become equivalent to the Christmas New Year holiday season in the US, with regards to shopping. It is interesting to see how everything from laptops to silk sarees to jewellery to cell phones are on being marketed as on sale specially for diwali. Jewellery stores like Prince jewellery is giving away gift cards for clothes if you buy jewellery.

In the US however, the sales are in a totally separate class. This picture explains everything I would like to say:

So this is that time where I start thinking to myself.. What am I doing here? I should go back to India… Cant save money, need to do all the work myself.. (you know how this goes).

Happy Diwali to all you folks!