Maternal sons & Paternal daughters
August 10, 2008
I have decided that my only chance at having any shot of support in this house is if I give birth to a son. Lately my daughter and her father have been ganging up on me. My daughter’s constant “my daddy”s are testing my patience. They are always cuddling up on their side of the bed. Any disciplining that I attempt ends up with her complaining to her father about mommy.
So, what is the deal with fathers and daughters and mothers and sons. I have heard that it is considered to be lucky for daughters to take after their dads. That was some consolation, when the minute I saw my daughter I knew she had taken after the other side of the family. Movies boast of sons who go revenge crazy when something happens to their moms. And there are the doting dads who will do anything to stop their daughter from marrying the impoverished hero.
In our family, I pity my father-in-law for getting through 30 something years of being supportless. Clearly both his sons are Amma’s boys and I joke that he is the only one who would support me and I am the only one to support him. On my side, I often joke about how my mom and brother melt for each other, when in fact it is probably just the same between my father and I, less exhibitionist than them because of our relatively stoic natures.
While mothers and fathers are always special in their own right, I have always observed special affections and resemblences or similarities between mothers and their sons and fathers and their daughters. I am no expert at genetics (or even biology), but may be in our genes we are hardwired to be that way. I’ve tried hard to think of why that must be so, and I cannot think of any remotely reasonable explanation for this, except that it is probably almost always true.
Ok, it’s time now for me to go break that partnership across the room at least temporarily, as I let her doze off on my lap for a change.
Entry Filed under: Memories, Men and Women. Tags: daughters, fathers, mothers, parents, sons, special parents.
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1. sangu | August 10, 2008 at 4:28 pm
my family is guilty as charged.
Rekha: You too??
2. maxdavinci | August 10, 2008 at 5:29 pm
Everyboy I know is amma-payyan, and I guess thats where the term ‘maama’s boy’ comes from. Similarly ‘Daddys lil doll’ is associated with girls.
Personally I really donno whom my loyalties lie with and so cant include myself in either list!
Rekha: Idhulaam Chumma.. Appa kitae nalla paeru vaangalaamnu thaanae? And didn’t you mention your mom woke up every time you sneezed?
3. maami | August 10, 2008 at 7:44 pm
Periyava edo oedipal complex/ electra complexnu solluva.
But what do I know?
I was my daddy’s girl all the way.
And my little fella? Amma’s lamb if you ever saw one.
Rekha: Oh..Didn’t know these things even had a name.
4. padmajav | August 11, 2008 at 3:56 am
Yeah, I’ve rarely seen boys closer to the fathers and girls closer to their moms… My son almost disproved the theory by clinging to his dad, going bananas when he came back from work, talking to his picture when he’s at work, etc… he used to treat me like an ayah.. Not even a half-smile for me… .But that changed when he was about 18 months. Now he’s truly a mama’s boy!!
Rekha: Oh boy! That must’ve been a scary 18 months for you.
5. Nandini | August 11, 2008 at 10:23 am
LOL, am Amma’s girl for all my rebelliousness, and Daddy’s girl for all daredevilry that he approved of
Rekha: Oh.. Katshi maarara caseaa?
6. buddy | August 14, 2008 at 12:06 pm
niec topic..freud solluvar nariya idha patti…but not very palatable
Rekha: You were right about that one. It was most certainly not palatable.
7. Fatima | August 15, 2008 at 2:51 pm
I am pretty new to the blogging world… this topic interests me more… being Daddy girl and Mommy’s boy… still the way you feel for each other will be the same. the reason we call it that way is that we can take more advantage on that person than the other.. so its all in the way you look at it… though you might say you are Daddy’s girl… wont you talk about same things with your Mommy all the time…
i havent differentiated much between both even though i have spent most of my time with my Mom as my dad kept travelling most of the time…
the attention is because your daughter gets more liberties with her father than with you… its the same with all the kids… they will be glued to the person whom they dont see much
… other reason could be that kids want to spend whatever time they have with them giving all the attention to them… kids know to play things right here…
Your girl will turn towards you in no time… its just matter of time…
Rekha: Neenga sonna nalla naeram, she comes to me at least for diaper changes now.
8. Zanychild | August 18, 2008 at 2:51 am
haha!
true true!
i am a daddy’s girl
i can get anything done by telling my father!
wheras my mom will smother me with questions as do u really have to do it, is it worth it…and so on!
wheras my bro is completely to my mom!
he is abroad now1
but he calls whenever he can and talks hours on the fone to my mom wheras if it is my dad who took the phone he wud just speak for a few minutes!!
Rekha: Lol@the phone call. My husband does the same thing when he calls home!
9. bombaygirl | August 19, 2008 at 11:56 am
Its pretty common I hear. My daughter definitely has a special relationship with her father. And he is just gaga for her. And my son loves me to pieces…and the feeling is mutual. I do love my daughter too, but there is something so strong about her, so self-sufficient, and something so vulnerable about my son…I don’t know. It will probably change later on, when they are older.
Rekha: Hmm.. Wonder if that will ever change though..