The species called ‘Desi consultant’ – Part 3

..Continued from The species called ‘Desi consultant’ – Part 2.

I have putting off writing the 3rd and probably final part of this series not only because I have been fairly preoccupied on suddenly finding myself on bench, but also because there are so many random thoughts that I’ve not quite been able to get it organized into a coherent piece. So here goes one more attempt.

There really is no career strategy when it comes to desi consulting. You follow the money and go where it leads you. If you don’t have or do what it takes, then you might just end up on bench for long periods of time, where you begin to doubt the purpose of your existence etc.. So, when you encounter such hurdles as unsuitability or under-qualification or inexperience, with the help of able specimens from the species called ‘desi recruiters’ (they deserve not a blog series but a book by themselves), you cross all hurdles by using several proven methods to reach goal green!

To start with, one has to reconcile to the fact that there is no moral high ground here. Here are some qualities that hold us all in good stride:

1. Writing in circles 

One should be adept not at the technology they claim to be experts at but at knowing how best to rephrase and re-rephrase their resumes, so that they appear to be a tailor-made candidate for the requirement in hand. Of course, clients know better than to trust resumes, so they ask for an interview (on the phone), and when that happens, the desi consultants secondary set of skills come into play.

2. Talking in ellipses and circles (also called Dumeel quotient):

That of talking not in circles, but big ellipses and circles and that upon completion of the answer to his question, the interviewer is invariably confused into the belief that what the desi consultant said was probably right.

3. Impersonability:

Those that have below average dumeel quotient might have to walk the extra mile and be prepared to donate their identity temporarily to an impersonator who either has a good dumeel quotient or has good technical quotient at the skills required. That means they will have to get somebody else to impersonate them on the phone during the interview. Of course, this means that one has to be prepared to throw all nagging thoughts of being straightforward to the winds.

4. Networkability

Once settled at a project, that you were not qualified to do in the first place, you summon your skills at networking. All the contacts you made at the alumni association, Sunday temple visits, grocery store visits and boring parties, are put to the test. These people act as your 24×7 call centre. A call to your senior from college that says “Anna.. have you worked on this?” (to be aptly translated to Telugu in most cases), will solve your problem as you hang on to the phone on the one hand, and do the necessary stuff with the other.

And this is how, most of us survive and make our money. If we still do this, and have a reputation for pretty much running the technology consulting industry in this country, it is because we are smart and we know how to adapt to our surroundings at the same time adding value to our customers and to our bank accounts.

What does everyone say? Correctaaa?

17 thoughts on “The species called ‘Desi consultant’ – Part 3

  1. Pradeep

    Nteworkability remba correct. I have lots of experience. At first being the advice seeker to now graduating into advice giver 😀

    Neenga endha category? 😛

    Rekha: I have done a small amount of Writing in circles and profited a little from networkability, but so far haven’t gone as far as impersonability thankfully.

  2. OMG please tell me Impersonability is not something that happens too often! I’m quite tempted to think that some of the onsite jokers that i’ve worked with in the past must have gotten in that way! One of the same jokers got super excited when they saw Cilantro at a local super market and called his wife:

    “Aan nene. Ikkada super market lo kothimeeri pettinaadu. Aunu. Aaan freshu. Emi? Umm, okka 40 bunches untayi. Aaan. Emi? Oh anni bunchesu thees raavaala? Aan wokay. Sari. Pettuthaanu.”

    Rekha: Haha.. So meeru Telugu kooda mataladuthaara? I’ve only once worked with a guy who was impersonated during the interview, but I scared him so much the first couple of days on the project, that he ran away sighting personal problems.

  3. maami orru chinna vendugol…

    nariya MS students engla mari consultants ah orru skeptic look vidra…sometimes adhu kevalam last resort nu solra (no offence 🙂 )….konjam myths and facts next post la clear panna nannarkum…

    nandri 🙂

    Rekha: Adithya, I have to accept, I’ve got very biased views on this issue, and may not do justice to myths and facts. But others are free to comment on your question here.

  4. Having done so many call-forward-interviews for fraandship, I kinda get what you are hinting at.

    My luck with ladeej doesn’t help either as my inbox has mails that start with ‘orei mama/babai okka chinna favor’.

    @bikerdude: papam for your Sheela-n-throw yuxpeerience…

    Rekha: haaaa.. So Max Da vinci yaarunu sollavae mudiyadhu….

  5. Me

    Adithya is a well known fact that points 1 to 4 happens with Consultants …approm eppadi look vidama iruka mudiyum?

    ..kevalam…last resort….is because of points 1 to 4

  6. @adithya: it depends on which level of the consulting pyramid you are. It’s quite respectable if you are a first-level-consultant where 11 ppl from your consultancy don’t share the same resume nor do 25yrs olds have to talk of the six yrs of exp they claim to have.

    As you go towards the bottom of the pyramid, the number of consultants increases and its get murkier as you have 2-3 vendors. There you find all these so-called-MS grads who don’t know why we write public static void main and claim to be subject matter experts in .NET, SAS, etc after 25 days of weekend training.

    So if you want the red pill and a billing rate of 30 you go to the top, if you want the blue pill and a billing rate of 45 then you need 6yrs of so-called-exp, a templated resume and a frnd like me to take yor interview.

    choice onnodu pa…

  7. @maxdavinci:

    that was quite a clear explanation. thank you. it was quite different from what I keep hearing around my circle. this is the first time I’ve asked anyone outside of it, though.

    I am majoring in Computer Science at NC State univ. As of now am on course to graduate this December.

    I hope you don’t mind this discussion taking place here! 🙂

    Rekha: Oh.. absolutely no problems..

  8. Me

    …oh ok… thought of forwarding your resume to my company in case your domain was similar to mine…unfortunately it isn’t…anyways good luck on job search…

  9. I am hooked.. loved the serious.. 100% unmai.. esp loved part 2 of hauling all groceries from India.. have seen so many people do that.. one family actually bought pulikachal from India that leaked and the air bag (huge really) smelt of puli kachal.. still they went through green channel at JFK and got out scott free.. and had me gaping.. I dont even bring the usual kaju katli’s -perishable stuff et al!!

    Rekha: Next time, bring in the Kaju Katlis and enjoy them guilt-free. After all it’s not some leaky pulikaachal that you got.

  10. subhashini

    Mami.. this blog is so cool.. I liked the first one… home making is not so interesting…

    Of course.. as a girl mostly in similar state i can understand this

    Rekha: Welcome here, and all the best if you are waiting to move to H1.

  11. All I can say is that those who can leverage core competencies to synergistically collaborate with stakeholders to formulate objectives in a win-win game plan that empowers everyone, are good Desi consultants. And of course, they also revert back with concerns

    Rekha: Amen! 😀

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