The species called ‘Desi consultant’ – Part 3

..Continued from The species called ‘Desi consultant’ – Part 2.

I have putting off writing the 3rd and probably final part of this series not only because I have been fairly preoccupied on suddenly finding myself on bench, but also because there are so many random thoughts that I’ve not quite been able to get it organized into a coherent piece. So here goes one more attempt.

There really is no career strategy when it comes to desi consulting. You follow the money and go where it leads you. If you don’t have or do what it takes, then you might just end up on bench for long periods of time, where you begin to doubt the purpose of your existence etc.. So, when you encounter such hurdles as unsuitability or under-qualification or inexperience, with the help of able specimens from the species called ‘desi recruiters’ (they deserve not a blog series but a book by themselves), you cross all hurdles by using several proven methods to reach goal green!

To start with, one has to reconcile to the fact that there is no moral high ground here. Here are some qualities that hold us all in good stride:

1. Writing in circles 

One should be adept not at the technology they claim to be experts at but at knowing how best to rephrase and re-rephrase their resumes, so that they appear to be a tailor-made candidate for the requirement in hand. Of course, clients know better than to trust resumes, so they ask for an interview (on the phone), and when that happens, the desi consultants secondary set of skills come into play.

2. Talking in ellipses and circles (also called Dumeel quotient):

That of talking not in circles, but big ellipses and circles and that upon completion of the answer to his question, the interviewer is invariably confused into the belief that what the desi consultant said was probably right.

3. Impersonability:

Those that have below average dumeel quotient might have to walk the extra mile and be prepared to donate their identity temporarily to an impersonator who either has a good dumeel quotient or has good technical quotient at the skills required. That means they will have to get somebody else to impersonate them on the phone during the interview. Of course, this means that one has to be prepared to throw all nagging thoughts of being straightforward to the winds.

4. Networkability

Once settled at a project, that you were not qualified to do in the first place, you summon your skills at networking. All the contacts you made at the alumni association, Sunday temple visits, grocery store visits and boring parties, are put to the test. These people act as your 24×7 call centre. A call to your senior from college that says “Anna.. have you worked on this?” (to be aptly translated to Telugu in most cases), will solve your problem as you hang on to the phone on the one hand, and do the necessary stuff with the other.

And this is how, most of us survive and make our money. If we still do this, and have a reputation for pretty much running the technology consulting industry in this country, it is because we are smart and we know how to adapt to our surroundings at the same time adding value to our customers and to our bank accounts.

What does everyone say? Correctaaa?