My wife is a B***h!

All husbands, good or bad have their moments of thinking “Gosh! This woman is just too much!”. Most times, its because Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. I decided to make a ‘pattiyal’ or ‘list’ of things most men do not like about their wives.

1. Incessant shopping: Husbands fret when their wives drag them to Kohls or JCPenney to buy clothes. They fume even further when their wives cannot make up their minds on whether the white sweater is better or the cream one is. Their blood boils when having decided between white or cream, their wives proceed to find matching jewellery, shoes or handbags.
2. Domestication: Many husbands wish they could enjoy their weekend lazing on the couch, browsing the internet, reading moonavdhu manusha ezhuthara blogs, watching movies on HBO maathi Starz maathi Cinemax. Naturally it is extremely frustrating when the wife expects him to help with laundry, dispose the trash, occassionally cook or do the weekly grocery shopping – things which can very well be done by the wife who afterall has no interest in doing any of things in line 1 to start with.
3. Perfectionism/Spic and Spannism:  Husbands who have perfectionist wives are rarely close to perfection, as is usually the case in well-matched couples. Husbands scowl when asked to put their shoes in order when they get back from work, grumble under their breath when asked to take their clothes off the floor and put it into the laundry basket, make a silent protest when they are ordered not to spill the deepavali bakshanam on the carpet and valiantly disobey when they are asked to put down the toiled seat. (pss.. I even know one husband who is not allowed to use the toilet downstairs as that is reserved exclusively for guests and should be kept spic and span at all times).
4. Nagging: Husbands do not like to be told more than once what they need to do or should have done. It is of course totally irrelevant that they do not usually do what they are told the first time, or that they can never think of doing stuff unless they are told to. I have yet to master the art of conveying a to-do list to my husband without being called a nag. 
5. Crying: The most powerful tool available to the wife – Crying, is the husband’s worst enemy. As much as he gets amazed by the copious amounts of salt water that his wife’s eyes can produce within a few minutes for reasons well beyond his limits of comprehension, it also drives him crazy that something as trivial as that can force him to relinquish his position in any argument and go scurrying for kleenex.

Of course, as much as one may have all of the above complaints or more, a husband can most certainly not get away with calling his wife a ‘b***h’. However, there is one man who proudly can claim that at the top of his voice. He is this guy.

This list is sure to grow. Husbands, feel free to rant, but beware there will soon be a post that supports my kind!